Grieving My Soulmate, Girl

If we’re friends on social media, you probably saw that Doug and I said goodbye to our dog, Girl, last week. Last year, I created a series of Healing Turning Point Stories, and in that series, I shared Girl’s Story, written from her perspective. If you haven’t read it yet, you can find it here.When we’re on our healing journey and working to meet the needs of our inner child, we find that what we need shows up in all different places. Many people spend a lifetime searching for their one and only soulmate, but the truth is, we all have many soulmates and they don’t just come to us in the form of romantic partners. I’ve been blessed to spend my life with a few different animal soulmates. I’ve had another soulmate dog who provided comfort when I was going through a lot of pain. Our dog Brocco has always provided me with protection and comfort. And our new dog River, baby puppy, provides an opportunity for me to have a baby to take care of, who is sensitive, vulnerable, full of love, joy, and excitement.But Girl is the only dog I’ve had who has been a healer and teacher for me. Girl healed me and showed me who I am. As part of my grieving process, I wrote a letter to Girl, and I’d like to share it with you… 

My Precious Sweet Girl,

From the first time I saw you in the pen, I felt bonded with you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I had to come see you to take care of you. My heart was breaking for yours.

I had to save you, saving you was like saving my inner child who was abandoned, neglected, and abused. On Mother’s Day, I drove straight to see you to take pictures and a video of you to post on Facebook to try and find you a home. I knew deep down I was your mommy, but I wasn’t able to accept it at that time because of all the care and attention our dog, Molly, needed.

While I was trying to find you a home, my heart broke wide open and I grieved hard for 2 days straight. As I was saving you, you were healing me.

Thank you for healing me.

I raised money for all of your initial surgeries, operations, and treatments. This brought me closer to so many heart-centered people in our neighborhood, which helped me feel more connected when I felt so disconnected at that time.

Thank you for connecting me.After chasing you around your pen for an hour, Daddy put you in my car and someone else was supposed to take you to the vet. Looking into your big soulful eyes, I knew I needed to take care of you. I carried you in and out of the vet and carried you into our house and put you in the shower to be washed for the first time in your life. I was brushing away all of your loose fur, and at one point you growled at me a little to let me know you had enough — it was a big stressful day for you leaving your “safe place” for the first time and having so much done to you. I respected you and your boundaries so much in that moment. You knew how to communicate your needs.

Thank you for communicating your needs. 

You are the smartest, strongest, and most loving dog I know.I have never seen and felt so much wisdom and love so big and always present.You are a healer and teacher.

Speaking of presents, during your first Christmas with us, you went and got your presents and put them down in front of you right as we were about to open our gifts. You are so smart and cute!

Your eyes showed me so much. Your big loving, vulnerable, wise eyes showed me myself. Your eyes gave me love like I’ve never known. You wouldn’t take your eyes off me, and I always felt your love, your love was the best gift.

Thank you for your love and for helping me feel mine.

You will always be my Girl, my little Girl, my sweet Girl, my most precious loving Girl. I love you SO much. I am forever grateful for you and the love you’ve given me. You have healed me and showed me who I am.You are an example to everyone that no matter how much you’ve been neglected, abused, and left to die, you can get the healing and love you need — and after that life will keep getting better and better. You went from living alone outside in a pen for 11 years, to living with all of us in a house in Atlanta and then in paradise in Costa Rica.You trusted us, you asked us for what you needed (beds in every room), you knew what you deserved. You walked away from your previous owner when you saw him after you lived with us. You knew boundaries and you knew true love.Thank you for your love and trust. I will always cherish you and keep your love in my heart.Your cooky happy sound and looks are one of a kind.

I’m so happy that you had Brocco to keep you company and that he had you to keep him company. I know you both offered a lot of comfort for each other.

Thank you Girl for being my Guru and my Angel.Your love is always with me.You will always be my Girl.I love you so much,MamaOur last day together…